Thursday, July 31, 2008

I hate Bluetooths

Okay, I know it's "the law" to drive with a hands-free headset of some sort, but from a design perspective, I'm boycotting until conditions improve. I refuse to purchase something that is not only incredibly ugly and awkward, but emits substandard sound quality.

According to CNET's reviews online, they rate the top new Bluetooth’s on the market.

First, we have the Aliph Jawbone 2 ($120) that received a 8.7 out of 10 and boasts a "fashionable" design, and excellent sound quality. The fashionable design looks like a bad inner-lobe earring from 1985 with an industrial imprint and gaudy metallic colors (silver, gold) and in reading some chat room discussions, the sound quality isn't that great either.

Next we have the BlueAnt Z9i (where the fuck to they get these names?) which received a 8.3 out of 10 ($70) and boasts being stylish, comfortable, easy to use and affordable. Since I have not personally tried using this product, I can't speak for the ease of use or comfort level, but I can easily say it is not stylish. It's large and chunky and the inexpensive black plastic does nothing for inspiring sleekness or style and the buttons are too large and overstated. This looks like a large old-fashioned hearing aid for people with varying degrees of autism and/or giant hands.

Third, we have the Jabra BT8040 which received an 8.3 out of 10 ($80) and claims to be small, offers lots of features, has good sound quality and is affordable. Blah, blah, blah, I'm not even going to review something that looks like my old Nokia cell phone hanging from the side of your face.

Basically, I have yet to see a truly well-designed Bluetooth, so I'm holding out. They all resemble either jumbo hearing aids, ground control headsets or 1-800 dentist contraptions. A small part of me wants to rebel by wearing a large Bose headset with a giant boom microphone just to make a statement. Or I'm going to go all out with Hernan Diaz Alonzo’s version from the Xefirotarch exhibition, which covers half your face like a skin like some villain in a batman movie. However, I have every confidence that Yves Behar or David Kelley will come up with something brilliant soon to inspire me to go the extra mile and actually comply with the law (sigh...) --


Hip E. said...

Eve, you've got to watch this episode of Wainy Days:

I think you'll like it.

Eve Wickman said...

LOL, "my Adam's apple's in school all the time, there's nothing recessed about it"

Thanks Hip.e
P.S. You've been slacking on your contributions to the Jo-tel but it sounds like you've been busy running around naked :)

Anonymous said...

I think I just threw up in my mouth.

Eve Wickman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eve Wickman said...

Dear Anonymous,
I'm intrigued, please explain.
I can marginally appreciate how easy it must be to make such bold statements while anonymous and without any explanation, but humor me and take a stand.

the.nicole.harvey said...

goodness yes. are we not cyborgs?
and how about Walzwerk week after next?